Why Don't You Just Eat Again?

And two other out-of-place short essays about self-love. (Oh, and marketing stuff.)

If you’re here for marketing advice, hit Command/Ctrl+F and type in “Marketing.” Start there for just the marketing lesson and upcoming events.

This is me going about my morning routine. No it’s not. But I don’t have a relevant pic and I’m too ugly in the mornings to take a picture. Anyway, the context will make sense later. Trust. (Photo by Taylor Beach on Unsplash)

I changed my relationship with food and didn’t realize it until after the transformation.

A while back, I was breastfeeding my baby. People with experience know: You cannot diet. You cannot starve yourself. You turn to galactagogue foods that help fuel milk production. These tend to be high-protein and high-fiber options like lean meat, eggs, dairy, lentils, whole grains, fruits, and vegetables. You live a life in service to lactation, which means staying hydrated and nourished as often as possible.

This was a great thing for me. No more skinny minnie 300-calorie bullshit salads with a splash of vinaigrette. Lunch became salad topped with chicken or beans, tossed in a creamy dressing, served with a side of avocado toast… and a can of Olipop. I liked it. So I stuck with it.

Because along the way, I stopped thinking about food and nutrition (or lack thereof) as a way to “look” better. I don’t have time for that shit anymore. I’ve got a family to take care of, a home to look after, and a day job to do. I need energy to get through my day. And ignoring my growling belly because it’s “not lunchtime yet” simply ceased to be an option for me. I live a life in service to my family and community, which means I need to put my nourishment first. I need to feel good before I can do any good work. In the quest to feel good, my menu expanded, leaving no room for guilt. Yes to salads with avocado toast because it feels good to have a big, vitamin-rich lunch. Yes to chocolate before bedtime because it’s fun to eat dessert with my partner while we watch The Bear. Yes to swigging an ice cold beer while flipping steaks on a grill because there isn’t a single better thirst quencher while the sun beats down on my shoulders.

Weirdly, I hadn’t thought about this at all. Not until I listened to Geraldine DeRuiter on Kara Swisher’s podcast. As Geraldine was writing her book, If You Can’t Take the Heat: Tales of Food, Feminism, and Fury, she talked to several dietitians to better understand women’s relationship with food.

What struck me was a simple statement she quoted from a dietitian: “Why don’t you just eat again?”

This was in reference to trying to eat foods that feel more filling. How about instead of trying to find ways to feel full, you just eat again so that you get full?

It dawned on me that I hadn’t felt that feeling of “I’m hungry but I’m not allowed to eat because I need to stay under 1,100 calories today,” in a long time. Because in my own motherhood journey, I walked away from the lifestyle of perpetual-hunger-in-service-to-thinness. Miso-glazed salmon bowls, roasted broccoli with a ridiculous amount of black pepper, Hot Cheetos, ice cream, cookies, jugs of water, and always-margaritas with tacos just became a natural part of my everyday life.

But don’t be like me: Don’t make yourself give birth to children before you realize you shouldn’t starve yourself. Just go eat again.

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☠️ The Most Toxic Thought I Ever Thought

Black coffee. I’m not a latte girlie, I don’t care for PSL season, and cold brew isn’t my regular order. Black coffee, plain and simple. Single origin, ideally. Served at 138 degrees. So I finally treated myself to an Ember mug, a rechargeable mug that holds your beverage at a defined temperature up until the last drop. Since it needs to be charged daily, I dutifully hand wash, dry, and place it on the charging plate every morning after I finish my coffee.

Of course, I forgot one day.

I poured hot coffee into my cold mug, shaking my head. You idiot. You supposedly looove hot coffee so much you bought this stupid expensive mug and you can’t even be bothered to charge it. Enjoy your lukewarm coffee. You deserve it you fucking loser.

Oh my god. Who says that? I wouldn’t dare harbor that thought for my enemies. Why on earth would I say that to myself? It was an automatic thought that I’ve had to learn to untwist. And by learn, I mean, I bought The Feeling Good Handbook by David Burns and have been doing the literal homework of cognitive behavioral therapy to rid myself of the toxic, abusive ways in which I’ve spoken to myself.

A few months ago I forgot to charge my Ember mug.

Oops. I plucked the clean mug off the dish rack, poured my coffee, and started my day.

Your mileage may vary.

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🛡️ The Precursor to Cognitive Behavioral Therapy

Last year, I had a call with my friend Corey Wilks. I felt like I was on the cusp of opportunity. A lot ahead of me. (And yes, so absurdly lucky for all of it.) But I was overwhelmed and didn’t know what to choose, what to do. I was thinking of writing a book, but unsure if it’s what I really wanted. I wanted to start a coaching side hustle, but I was too scared to ask people for money. I wanted to go on vacation, but I felt like there was so much unfinished work that I didn’t have the right to relax.

So what was I doing? Naturally, I was freely giving my time to people who asked. Free advising to strangers and acquaintances. I didn’t have time to do actual consulting, which meant I felt that whatever quick advice I could give wasn’t worth any money. Toxic thoughts, indeed.

I told Corey all of this: “I have all these things I want to be doing. But yet I’m spinning my wheels overloading my plate with things I don’t actually want to do. I think I’m above free advising yet I can’t stop doing it. What is this mixed bag of self-worth?”

(Oh yeah, I should add that Corey is a psychologist.)

I took a bunch of notes from and one thing he said to me now stands out:

If you don’t think you’re worth protecting, you’re not going to protect yourself.

We sat there quietly for a while. I probably sniffled. Then he suggested I take some time to write out my personal narrative. We all tell ourselves stories. Stories of why we are the way we are, and stories of who we aspire to be. So I had to ask myself: What personal narrative do I want, and how can I work toward it?

Write out the life you want, the person you wish to become. Tell yourself the story you want to live.

Corey also recently wrote an essay, per my request. I highly recommend you check it out: 21 Pieces of Timeless Wisdom for Entrepreneurs (That Everyone Ignores)

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🥅 Marketing Lesson: The Tightrope Walk of Customer Acquisition and Customer Engagement

This post, by the co-founder of Simple Modern, Bryan Porter, is brilliant:

Snippets of Bryan’s post. Go read the full version.

You don’t have to be an ecommerce marketer to get value from that post. Broadly speaking, the point is to master conversion from top-of-funnel acquisition channels (in Simple Modern’s case, Amazon), and home in on unique value from your owned acquisition channel (their DTC website).

Simple Modern’s strategy: Leverage Amazon’s strengths to score quick sales with deal-seeking, instant-gratitude-hungry customers. Then make more money with loyal DTC customers by offering exclusive products/services like limited edition drops and personalized engraving.

In this case, Amazon is merely the discovery platform. Amazon is to Simple Modern what LinkedIn is to a B2B service provider. Or what Substack is to a book author. Or what Instagram Reels are to a YouTuber.

Leverage the discovery platform to get discovered. Make your ideas, product, service, whatever it is, as accessible as possible to your broadly defined customer. Then once you’ve converted them to a customer or subscriber, “sell” them your truly valuable asset, like your book, your course, your coaching, etc.

📆 Where I’ll Be: Content Marketing 201 and Upcoming Events

MozCon in Seattle: I’m just going as a regular attendee. Excited to see friends speak! Say hi if you’ll be there too.

Content Marketing 201 (virtual): I’m back! I just launched registration for Cohort 5. Snag early bird pricing to get 25% off. Offer expires Sunday, June 2. Class is in session June 24.

SparkTogether in Seattle: SparkToro’s first in-person event! I had said I’m determined to host the best marketing conference ever. Let’s go. It’ll be a full day of marketing and business stories from GOATs like Ann Handley, Anne-Laure Le Cunff, Geraldine DeRuiter, Mike King, and more. Only 58 tickets left at the $350 price. Prices will go up the longer you wait.

Content Marketing World in San Diego: I literally just confirmed this one, so I’m not even on the website yet. Lol. I’m gonna talk about zero-click marketing. Come!

🎓 Oh Yeah, Where I’ve Been: Podcasts and Webinars

The Art of Zero-Click Content: This is a free webinar I hosted to announce the return of Content Marketing 201. You’ll get the baseline understanding for the marketing challenges today and why zero-click is the best way forward. (Yeah, you gotta put in your email. I gate things sometimes. How quaint of me.)

Delivering Value podcast: On Andrew Capland’s show, I talked about the toughest feedback I’ve ever received, how to handle burnout, and the awkward thing people sometimes say to me when they meet me in real life.

👋 See ya!

This was entirely too much for one newsletter, I’m aware. When I’ve got something to say, I say it. When I don’t, I shut the hell up.

Have a great rest of the week, friend.